Simple orders should stay simple.

I have two theories. The first theory is that the combination of bright lights and pretty colors cause these people's brains to misfire across the synapse. The other theory is that these are the dumbest folks in the world. I had a guy come up today with his two teenage sons and his wife. He says "I want a cinnamon pretzel and a bottle of water". I asked if he wanted anything else, and he replied that he just wanted that. So I put a tray in the oven and his wife decides that she wants a salt pretzel. Then his other son decides he wants a pretzel, and we do this for 10 minutes. One by one, I finally get his order. It would have been easier (and faster) had he just said "Hi, I'd like 2 cinnamon pretzels, 2 salt pretzels, 2 bottles of water and a medium Dr. Pepper". That took me 5 seconds to type, probably 4 seconds to say. He was nice about it though, so I wasn't too annoyed at him.
People on their phones though, they annoy the heck out of us. People will walk up to the cookie counter, yammering on their cell "Yeah sister, then I said screw you! and she was all no, go to hell! And then I was like..." and so on and so forth. The killing part about it though, is these people get mad when we politely wait for them to finish their conversation. They'll break off mid-conversation and say "... Oh and then she - hang on sister, I gotta make my order", snap the phone away from their mouth and say "'scuse me! SCUSE ME!! Can I get a cookie puh-leeze?!" As though we were rudely ignoring them. Then return to their conversation. God forbid we address them during their conversation, then they turn away and tell the person on the other end how rude we are for interrupting. The people on the phones annoy the hell out of me, but it's the people that come up 20 minutes before close, see parts of the store are shut down, and then get mad about being unable to order items from that area. Here, just to clarify, pretzel machine goes off an hour before close, pretzel storage is turned off 30 minutes to close. This means that you can not get pretzels after 8:30 pm (5:30 on Sunday). Specialty items are put/thrown away 15 minutes to close, and when the register is shut down, we are closed. EVERY NIGHT these people will come to the store at 8:50 pm (10 minutes to close), and get angry about the fact that we will not make them a pretzel. They get all huffy and bitter, and storm away. Look folks, you can't go to outback steakhouse before 4:00 pm, you can't order breakfast at McDonalds after 10:45 am, and you can't get pretzels after 8:30! At least not from us. We can see you coming on the camera. I swear, we call it when we see you coming. "They want pretzels." "Watch, these fools gonna ask for something in the Merlin (storage unit)." We will be closed, and people will still get mad. They either expect us to give them stuff for free, or magically ring them up with a closed out register. Look, we have homes and families too, and we would like to see them. Don't be one of these fools. when a business begins to announce that they are beginning to close, leave.